"Why is my site so slow?"

Sounds like it needs a tune-up.
Go faster!

SITECARE FAQ

Here we try to anticipate your questions about WordPress maintenance.
Can you make my site faster?

Short answer: Yes, we can! In some cases, a lot faster.

Our sitecare contracts include year-round monitoring of site speed as well as extensive and comprehensive optimization of all factors affecting load time, such as image size and caching. We guarantee we can improve your page load times, sometimes significantly.

In particular, if you decide to transfer your site(s) to one of our recommended hosting services — either SiteGround or Flywheel — and purchase a sitecare plan with high speed caching and image optimization, we can guarantee a speed increase of at least 15%, and very likely more than that.

Why do I need a WordPress maintenance plan?

Short answer: Because you have a business to run, and it’s not WordPress maintenance.

I recently logged into a new client’s site to find that 32 plugins required updates. (I’m not sure why she had more than 32 active plugins, and neither did she.) 5 of those had security vulnerabilities that had long since been patched.

Her theme, purchased by her developer two years prior, was three major versions out of date. She herself didn’t own a license to the theme so she couldn’t update it, or contact the developers’ tech support.

She had been wondering why her site was so slow, and why certain elements of her formerly nifty WordPress site no longer looked so nifty.

What I’ve described is by no means an unusual situation. It’s more common that most would believe, far more common than necessary.

My new client was lucky. Although her site’s version of WordPress was vulnerable to the mass defacement of sites that occurred in February 2017, she had escaped what hundreds of thousand of sites, including Etsy, had not.

I’m not mentioning this to make fun of my new client. She had better things to do, like running her business. She’s not a developer. She’s not particularly interested in WordPress except as a tool, and she’s absolutely right to focus on that.

So what I’m saying is: If you have the time, and the inclination, and the experience, not only to keep your site up-to-date and secure, not to mention the research required to keep your WordPress skills and knowledge timely, then by all means, do it.

If you’d rather focus on what you’re good at, on making money, then you need a WordPress sitecare and security plan.

Which is where we come in.

Why should I choose Fascinating Monsters over other WordPress maintenance companies?

Because of our nifty logotype?

Nah.

Short answer: Because we’ve been doing this for a long time, because we enjoy what we do, and because we give more and do more for our clients than any other WordPress maintenance company that we know of.

We didn’t just wake up, read an ebook from GoDaddy, and then decide that WordPress maintenance would make us a quick buck. Google “WordPress maintenance” and you’ll find a lot of companies with generic sites, and no personality. They just look like fly-by-night operations. We’re in this for the long haul.

We also have a depth of experience in a wide variety of other fields, including graphic design, copywriting, feature writing, proofreading, copy editing, video production, and even film and theater.

Some of us have been designing and supporting WordPress sites since there was such a thing. Our small core collective has a combined WordPress experience of more than 40 years. That total doesn’t even include our network of sitecare specialists we’ve trained to be your trusted go-tos when something goes wrong, or when you want something to go right, work better, or look prettier.

Some of our support plans include WordPress plugins and themes that would be prohibitively expensive for any single business owner to purchase on their own.

For instance, the best image optimization plugin for WordPress by a long shot costs $50/month. Not $50 for one license. We think it’s worth it so that we can help our clients obtain the fastest page loads they can, with the smallest image sizes with no noticeable loss in quality. Most of our plans include this essential plugin for, no exaggeration, a fraction of its cost for individuals.

That value is something we love to pass on, and it’s by no means the only example we could site.

We’re here to support you in any way we can.

Can you help me with my placement on Google?

Short answer: It’s possible but…

SEO, or Search Engine Optimization, is the most asked for service we provide, and yet sometimes it seems as if it’s the most misunderstood, and most feared!

We get that.

There are only 10 spots on the first page of Google search results and it seems impossible to place your site in that group.

We won’t pretend like it’s easy, either, which is why, at your request, we’ll evaluate your site to see if we can help. We provide this initial audit for free.

After that, we’ll either take a pass or make a proposal with specific, realistic, and attainable goals.

SEO audits are available upon request. Click here to request a consultation.

All sitecare contracts and subscriptions include SEO optimization for your entire site, but these services are not as comprehensive and extensive as a full SEO audit.
What’s included in your sitecare and security plans?

Short answer: All our WordPress maintenance plans and subscriptions include the basics: 24/7 Uptime Monitoring, Maintenance and Updates of WordPress Plugins and Themes, Security and Defensive Firewall, Site Backups and Restorations, Basic SEO Optimizations, and Technical Support. Of course, we take care of any problems that arise related to these core areas, at no extra cost to you.

From there we add services, products, and perks depending on the size of your site — roughly based on the number of visitors that come to your WordPress site in one month — and also your needs and requirements.

We’ve tailored plans to fit freelance writers and photographers, small businesses and sole proprietorships with small online stores, all the way up to enterprise sites with significant ecommerce setups and up to one million visitors per month.

But what if you have a small site, but you still want to have the fastest one possible, or the latest email optin plugin, or you want your images to load as fast as possible with no noticeable loss in quality? In that case, you might need to upgrade to the next plan. We’ll work with you to help figure that out.

Or get a headstart by answering a few questions for us. Then we can point you in the right direction. Don’t fret. Our forms are fun, and there’s always a reward at the end for finishing them!

Do you make WordPress sites?

Yes, we do!

Click here for more info.

 

"Is my site secure?"

If you have to ask...
Lock it up!

SECURITY FAQ

Here we try to anticipate your questions about WordPress security.
Can you make my site secure?

Short answer: Yes, we can! All our plans include the most sophisticated defensive WordPress Firewall available, as well as free site cleaning if your site has already been compromised or infected.

Who do I need extra security? Isn't WordPress already secure?

Short answer: Yes, WordPress is secure, except when it’s not. Thousands of WordPress sites were recently defaced because they had failed to update to the latest version of WordPress, and because they didn’t have extra security measures in place. In other words, they had no one paying attention, and they weren’t protected.

That’s where we come in. 

If any of the infected sites had been running the WordPress Firewall we install and monitor for all our clients, they would not have been infected. Their sites would have gone on getting hits and making money.

That’s just a fact.

Don’t wait.

Click here to protect your business.

Why should I choose Fascinating Monsters over other WordPress maintenance companies?

Because of our nifty logotype?

Nah.

Short answer: Because we’ve been doing this for a long time, because we enjoy what we do, and because we give more and do more for our clients than any other WordPress maintenance company that we know of.

We didn’t just wake up, read an ebook from GoDaddy, and then decide that WordPress maintenance would make us a quick buck. Google “WordPress maintenance” and you’ll find a lot of companies with generic sites, and no personality. They just look like fly-by-night operations. We’re in this for the long haul.

We also have a depth of experience in a wide variety of other fields, including graphic design, copywriting, feature writing, proofreading, copy editing, video production, and even film and theater.

Some of us have been designing and supporting WordPress sites since there was such a thing. Our small core collective has a combined WordPress experience of more than 40 years. That total doesn’t even include our network of sitecare specialists we’ve trained to be your trusted go-tos when something goes wrong, or when you want something to go right, work better, or look prettier.

Some of our support plans include WordPress plugins and themes that would be prohibitively expensive for any single business owner to purchase on their own.

For instance, the best image optimization plugin for WordPress by a long shot costs $50/month. Not $50 for one license. We think it’s worth it so that we can help our clients obtain the fastest page loads they can, with no noticeable loss in quality. Most of our plans include this essential plugin for, no exaggeration, a fraction of its cost for individuals.

That value is something we love to pass on, and it’s by no means the only example we could site.

We’re here to support you in any way we can.